People I want to call and ask to hang out. But back to the needing to feel needed things I can’t bring myself to. So i stay in my room, bored out of my skull on a beautiful night in February.
And why the hell is she making food? And sharing it? It’s creeping me out…
So fucking bored.
Is it bad or selfish that i want to be invited out, not always be the initiator? I want to feel wanted and is that bad?
Considering what I have to live through I need to find a way to make the best of it. I need to take the right attitude and stop feeling like a victim. Or whatever.
I just want people to want me around. That’s something a teenager might say, but we always feel it. We’re just told it’s not mature, it’s too whinny, so it has to be twisted… but that’s the core of it. I want to feel wanted.
And why? Why do i feel so angry as of late? She hasn’t felt anything but disdain towards me for years. It’s not her. It’s realizing just how alone I am. Everyone I thought I was close to, with some exceptions, are slowly backing away from me. Will I bring them down? Depress them with my situation? Or am I just not that important?
Loneliness does not fit me well…
What the fuck is wrong with people anyway? They elect a fuckwad to the presidency then are shocked when he behaves like a fuckwad. I don’t get it.
Lonely & angry now. Shrinks not supposed to do that. Why do I feel worse now? Shouldn’t I be more clear-headed and aware? Introspective, even? Nope just angry.
Not that I feel like I should expect it but after this many years like this is it too much to ask to find someone who cares? A girl who likes hugs. Hell just a girl who’s okay with being touched would be an improvement. Ah no wonder I’m angry.
Bad day. Feel like ass. Emotionally of course. Would really like to shake it but so far no good.
This is the post excerpt.
I need to talk through some shit, I need feedback and I need anonymity. There ya go.