Is it bad

Is it bad or selfish that i want to be invited out, not always be the initiator? I want to feel wanted and is that bad?

Considering what I have to live through I need to find a way to make the best of it. I need to take the right attitude and stop feeling like a victim. Or whatever.

I just want people to want me around. That’s something a teenager might say, but we always feel it. We’re just told it’s not mature, it’s too whinny, so it has to be twisted… but that’s the core of it. I want to feel wanted.


And why? Why do i feel so angry as of late? She hasn’t felt anything but disdain towards me for years. It’s not her. It’s realizing just how alone I am. Everyone I thought I was close to, with some exceptions, are slowly backing away from me. Will I bring them down? Depress them with my situation? Or am I just not that important? 

Loneliness does not fit me well…


What the fuck is wrong with people anyway? They elect a fuckwad to the presidency then are shocked when he behaves like a fuckwad. I don’t get it.

Lonely & angry now. Shrinks not supposed to do that. Why do I feel worse now? Shouldn’t I be more clear-headed and aware? Introspective, even? Nope just angry.

Not that I feel like I should expect it but after this many years like this is it too much to ask to find someone who cares? A girl who likes hugs. Hell just a girl who’s okay with being touched would be an improvement. Ah no wonder I’m angry.