Just when I start to try and settle into a new kind o’ misery, and ready to move forward, she finally reaches out. “Finally”, I say it’s not even been a freaking week. Goddamn time is moving slow all of a sudden…
She missed talking to me. She told him if he didn’t rush off the plan thinking of seeing her, it’s time to call it. I hope he takes that. I hope she stays solid on that simply because she knows that is EXACTLY how I would be acting if I had been with her and then away from her for so long. And how I will likely react if I ever see her again, but that’s a later worry.
She’s sad deep down. I don’t blame her at all, she’s got every reason to be, as do I. The thing I committed and then REALLY committed to just… fell apart. With very little fan fair. And it stings. To know I invested so much and now see… nothing. I think she feels the same but like we’ve both said before, I’m further down the path of being past it than she is. It still hurts her, for me it’s just an annoyance now. I don’t feel pain because I have NO desire to be with mine. She’s probably still got a tinge of want, maybe just due to physical location and her… insatiably… but hopefully she’ll be able to get through that. I would very, very much like to help her through that.
Okay, enough of that. Need to keep focused, think positive if possible. I know it won’t be some kind of magical revelation for her, but maybe if she’s able to see it through a bit further she can make it part of the way there.
Still 100% sure I love her, now I just have to figure out how to prove it.